Anger often makes you irrational and impulsive and you find yourself saying things you don’t really mean. Regrettable things that also escalates the situation, making your hard feelings even worse. But repressed feelings and unresolved anger can also leave you feeling worse off emotionally and even physically. According to Healthline, unresolved anger and repressed emotions can be a trigger for mental health issues and puts you at a higher risk for cardiovascular diseases, high blood pressure and digestive problems. So your anger can manifest negatively in your body and brain.  

Which brings us to the brilliant way Abraham Lincoln let it all out, without ever engaging with the target of his anger and without consequence. He wrote what he called a ‘hot letter’. He put down every single angry thought and thing he wanted to say to that person in this letter. Then he sets aside the letter to send when he feels calmer. And once he calms down, he writes ‘Never sent. Never signed.’and files it away. 

These letters serve several purposes, it lets you release all your anger or pent up feelings and it is an exercise in examining your feelings to identify the root of your anger, and ultimately a resolution. Instead of saying things to someone, potentially worsening the situation and ruining a relationship writing a hot letter can save you the trouble. 

Putting it all on paper also gives you time to calm down and reflect. Self reflection and self awareness makes for a better mind set to resolve conflicts in than rage. So next time you feel like you are about to blow a fuse, step away and write a hot letter. Then take your time, an hour or even a day, to think it over. And when you go back, the contents of that letter may guide you to a realisation or a resolution you can convey without intense emotions clouding your judgement.